Robert Robert Robertson wants to commit suicide—and not just because of his stupid name. Determined to end it all and armed with a backpack full of stolen cash, Robert heads to the Utah desert for one last hurrah. But being inept, impulsive, and ill-tempered, he not only blows the attempt, he also blows up his life in the process.

​

Now with no money, no friends, and the twenty-nine year old woman of his dreams out of his forty-nine year old reach, Robert must deal with the consequences of his actions. After a lifetime of bad behavior, will he learn to forgive his parents for being so boring? Will he win back the woman he loves? Will he pay the price for stealing all that money?

Robert is about to go on a painful journey of growth, but on the bright side–he does get to shoot a bad guy along the way.

​

Some excerpts from the book:

​

"He was careful to drive slowly and deliberately, not wanting to kill himself before he killed himself."

​

"Of course, what he really needed was a working phone so he could Google 'how to stab someone while on crutches.'"

​

"P.S. Speaking of names, Robert Robert Robertson, why don’t you go fuck, fuck, fuck yourself?"